Lots of GOOD news lately!!

drumman wrote:This forum is getting too depressing with all these funeral announcements.
How about talking about some positive things, yea shit happens..life goes on..and people pass on.
Life is still worth living, let's look for the good things in life.

kenny wrote:Well I can understand where drumman is coming from. Every day someone seems to die in the news. So everyday people report on it. Well honestly many of these people haven't touched our lives personally. they are names on a record album and not much more. Why not instead of feeling sad, acknowledge the person with joy. They had a good run and lets honor that rather than oh how sad they died. Duh everything dies eventually. keep some kind of balance.
I tell my kids if anything ever happens to me don't be sad. Remember me for who i was and that i had a most blessed life and did my best with what i had to work with. be happy i had the chance and don't think of it as a loss. obviously it is a loss. I hated losing my parents it sucked. But you get on with life as they say life is for the living.

Why you guys can come down and scold a brother who just voices his opinion you should be ashamed of yourselves. Minister shminister you're just a human being like everyone else get off your high horse. earned doctorate wow i'm impressed get over yourself. Why not bring some light and cut the tragedy all the time we're sick of it. Read your letter john!!
That's your caliber! come on and judge me now like you did drum man i'll defend myself. gonna tell me my caliber? bring it.
I ain't afraid of you. You degrade the man then tell him, be more empathetic. Dude i think the old folks home is lookin for you.

drumman wrote:This forum is getting too depressing with all these funeral announcements.
How about talking about some positive things, yea shit happens..life goes on..and people pass on.
Life is still worth living, let's look for the good things in life.

Talking to someone who is dying can be very uncomfortable. It can be so uncomfortable people often avoid, or want to avoid, visiting or talking with a dying person. People often state they “just don’t know what to say.”It is understandable we are at a loss for words around someone who is dying. We never wrote essays in school about talking to a dying person and dinner conversations don’t routinely cover this subject. It is especially difficult to find words when we are experiencing intense feelings of sadness and impending loss. We may only see their failing body, declining health, and vanishing spirit while losing sight of the fact a dying person is more than their death. Finding words in this painful situation necessitates a broader perspective than the moment we are in.

At any point in time a human being is a composite of their past, present and future.
Relating to people successfully includes referencing all three of these dimensions.

When we say “hello” to someone who is dying we need to be thinking about the person they were, the person they are, and the person they will become. When we ask “How are you?” we need to really mean it and not accept “fine” or “OK” as an answer. We need to say “No, I mean how are you really.” Then we need to listen and listen well, because talking with someone who is dying is as much about listening as it is about words.

We may not know much about the particulars a dying person shares such as diagnoses or tests or treatments. But we all know about pain, frustration, sadness, and loss. These feelings are not situation specific and we can say “I am so sorry you have to experience these things today.” Empathizing with someone who is dying is a powerful way to be with them. Even the dying person can only spend so much time with their decline and will need to move on.

You can say “I remember when things were different. Do you remember when we went fishing in that snowstorm?” or bring up some time in the past you were together. This can often be a comfortable time talking about your shared past and exchanging familiar remembrances that connect you in the world of memories. Talking about past experiences reminds everyone that the dying person’s life is more than what it is today.

When reminiscing is ending you can talk about tomorrow by asking “What will your tomorrow be like?” This question may take you into current events or it may take you into the final chapter of a life. When a dying person talks about “just waiting to go” you may squirm and say “I hate to hear you say that, my world will be different without you.” Tears and hugs and hand holding are meaningful because sharing emotions and touch are another powerful way to be with someone.
Ending a conversation or visit with a dying person can be hard. You can say “I have to go now, I have enjoyed talking with you, I am thinking about you.” You may be overwhelmed with lots of other thoughts and emotions, but know you have made a positive difference by spending time with someone and their past, present, and future. And when the dying person can no longer talk, you can still communicate with them by sitting quietly at their side in silence, remembering their life is so much more than this moment.

I know that deer would be in my freezer if I saw that during hunting season...LOL!!!