BC's
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
BC's

Billy's Substitute WTJ Forum


You are not connected. Please login or register

For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny .

4 posters

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Empty For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:30 pm

Ted E. Bear

Ted E. Bear

Hi Pete,

Someone sent me this. It's 21 economic models explained using cows. I think you will get a kick out of it, if you haven't seen it already ! Peace, TED




21 Economic Models explained with Cows


SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.



BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.



ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.



A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.



A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.



A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....



A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

http://www.drumminfool.com

2For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Empty Re: For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:50 pm

Admin (Pete)

Admin (Pete)
Admin

lol!


_________________
Pete

To the father of us, all - Billy Cobham!
https://bcwtj.forumotion.com

3For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Empty Re: For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:13 pm

Woody

Woody

Subject: Osama writes to Obama
After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if
Osama is still alive', Barrack Hussein Obama has now been telling everyone he will capture Osama Bin Laden when elected.'

So, Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean.

Dean and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to Joe Biden.

Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.

Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at it.

And within a few minutes McCain's Staff e-mailed Obama with this reply: 'Tell Obama he's holding the message upside down'.

https://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#!/robertwoodbury

4For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Empty Re: For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Fri Nov 21, 2008 10:07 am

fusionfunk

fusionfunk

Woody wrote:Subject: Osama writes to Obama
After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if
Osama is still alive', Barrack Hussein Obama has now been telling everyone he will capture Osama Bin Laden when elected.'

So, Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean.

Dean and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to Joe Biden.

Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.

Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at it.

And within a few minutes McCain's Staff e-mailed Obama with this reply: 'Tell Obama he's holding the message upside down'.

Woody, that was hilarious!!! I laughed so hard, I have tears running down my cheeks!

5For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Empty Re: For Pete Mainly, but pretty funny . Fri Nov 21, 2008 8:09 pm

Admin (Pete)

Admin (Pete)
Admin

"The choice of Timothy Geithner, the president of the New York Federal Reserve, to be the next Treasury Secretary is a sign that the Obama White House wants to keep a firm grip on economic policy..."

Link to story:

http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/geithner-pick-means-white-house/story.aspx?guid={B8C36C8C-533E-45D0-8921-1368869AA92C}&dist=msr_1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_F._Geithner

Had the other guy been elected,
THIS guy would still have been
appointed.

A firm grip, indeed.


_________________
Pete

To the father of us, all - Billy Cobham!
https://bcwtj.forumotion.com

Sponsored content



Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum