Below is an excerpt from my first book Girls Don't Like Real Jazz:
The extent that enemies of jazz have gone to alter documents and edit audio and video records is astoundingly treacherous. It took a great deal of painstaking investigative research to locate and confirm the quotes listed below. At times during my investigative work bodily harm was a true possibility. But I would do anything for jazz and the country I love. After reading these quotes you will be as outraged as I am that they have been tampered with.
Original Quotes:
Nathan Hale: “I only regret I have but one life to give for jazz.”
Winston Churchill: “Never have so few played so much jazz for so little money.”
Virgil Tibbs: “They call me Mr. Jazz.”
Marie Antoinette: “Let them listen to smooth jazz.”
Alexander Graham Bell: “Come here, Watson. I hear jazz.”
Goldfinger: “No, Mr. Bond, I want you to like jazz.”
Thomas Edison: “Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% listening to jazz music.”
Woody Allen: “Eighty percent of success is showing up for a jazz gig.”
Oliver Twist: “Please, sir. I want some more jazz.”
Benjamin Franklin: “Jazz is living proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.”
W.C. Fields: “On the whole, I'd rather be at the Newport Jazz Festival.”
John F. Kennedy: “Before the end of this decade, we will put jazz on the moon.”
Martin Luther King: "I’ve been to the mountain top and I have heard the promised jazz!"
Neil Armstrong: “That’s one small step for man. One giant leap for jazz music.”
Oprah Winfrey: “I still have my feet on the ground; I just listen to better jazz.”
Three Stooges: “Free jazz, five dollars. Free jazz, five dollars!”
Inspector Clouseau: “I thought you said your jazz does not bite.”
Ski Lodge Clerk: “That is not my jazz.”
Eubie Blake: “If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of my jazz record collection.”
Frank Zappa: “Jazz isn’t dead. It just smells funny.”
Patrick Henry: “Give me jazz or give me death.”
Yogi Berra: “I always thought that jazz record would stand until it was broken.”
Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart: “I may not be able to define real jazz, but I know it when I hear it.”
Rodney Dangerfield: “The only time I got any respect was when I was at a jazz concert.”
Marilyn Monroe: “Jazz is a girl’s best friend.”
Vince Lombardi: “ Jazz isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.”
Pliny the Elder: “Home is where the jazz is.”
Groucho Marx: “A man’s only as old as the jazz he listens to.”
Barack Obama: “Yes, I pal around with jazz musicians.”
Unknown: “As goes jazz; so goes the country.”
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